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文章摘要：虎看着这么大的天池，面露难色，但强作镇静，当即飞身跃起，张嘴作吞食之势。只听“扑通”一声，这只不自量力、狂妄之扱的东北虎掉入了天池，就再也没有起来过……
一只东北虎，非常狂妄。
他遇见一只漂亮的鹿，说：“我要吃掉你！”
鹿说：“不行呀，我在长白山天池边上土生土长，是吸吮了天池的‘天、地、山、水’之精华而修炼成的仙鹿，你吃不了！”
“笑话！天、地、山、水我都吃过，还吃不了你这只小小的鹿？”虎得意地说。
“你吃过天？”鹿问。
“噢，吃过，吃过！”虎稍稍迟疑了一下，“天麻，与甜同音，它的肉甜得很呢！”
“那，地的味道怎样？”鹿问。
“地嘛，因为地上的生物是各不相同的，所以味道也是多种多样的。如羊有膻味，鸡有鲜味，猪有油腻味……”虎越说越得意了。
“难道你连山也吃过？”鹿又问。
“吃过吃过。我是山大王嘛！山里的东西我全吃过！”虎说。
“那水，你更是吃过了？”鹿逗他问。
“吃过吃过，那东海龙王是我的结拜兄弟，啥样海鲜湖鲜都往我这里送。凡是海里的、湖里的、江里的东西，我都吃遍了。”虎很是自豪。
鹿想了想，装出很敬佩的样子，对虎说：“看来你真了不得，不过，这‘天、地、山、水’，你都是分别吃的。我们长白山的天池呀，可是凝聚了天地山水的精华哎，如果你能把天池吃了，才是最了不起哟。你吃了天池，我才愿意让你吃。”
“一言为定。哼！我一定要把这天地山水的精华吃了！”虎很有信心地跟着鹿来到天池边。
虎看着这么大的天池，面露难色，但强作镇静，当即飞身跃起，张嘴作吞食之势。只听“扑通”一声，这只不自量力、狂妄之扱的东北虎掉入了天池，就再也没有起来过……
大婴儿 The Big Baby
"You'll have to take care of the baby today," a woman told her husband . " I'm not feeling well."
"Then you must stay in bed and rest, dear. " her husband said. "I'll be pleased to look after our baby. "
"Thank you. I'll have a quiet day and I'll soon get better. " his wife told him.
"Shall I do the shopping for you as well?" her husband asked.
She was very pleased and said, "That will help me very much. I'll give you a list of things to buy. "
She wrote out the list and gave it to him.
"You can get all these things at the supermarket," she said.
"You can put the baby in the shopping cart, then you won't have to leave him outside."
The man took the baby to the supermarket and put him in the shopping cart. Then he pushed the shopping cart along the rows of things to buy and looked for those that were on his list.
At first all was well, but then the baby began to cry.
Then he started to scream.
And scream!
And SCREAM!
"Keep calm ,George, " the man said. "Don't get excited. Don't shout, George. Don't lose your temper, George.
A woman in the supermarket heard him saying these things. She walked up to him.
"I think you are wonderful," she said. "You are so patient with your little George. "
"Madam, " the man said, "I'm George. He's Edward.
“今天你得照看孩子，”女人对丈夫说，“我身体不舒服。”
“亲爱的，那你呆在床上休息，”丈夫说，“我很高兴照顾我们的孩子。”
“谢谢。今天我将清静一下了，我很快就会好点的。”
“我为你去买东西，好吗？”
她很高兴地说：“这帮我很大忙呢。我给你列个要买的东西的单子。”
她列好单子，递给他。
“在超级市场你能买到这些东西，”她说。
“你把孩子放在购物手推车里，就不用把孩子留在外面了。”
男人带着孩子到超市，把他放在推车里。然后推着车子沿着货架走，寻找单子列出的东西。
开始一切都进行得很顺利，接着孩子开始哭起来。
然后孩子开始尖声喊叫。
尖叫。
又尖叫。
“保持镇静，乔治，”男人说，“不要冲动。不要喊叫，乔治。不要发脾气，乔治。”
一个女人在超市听到他说的这些话。她走到他跟前。
“我觉得你真不错，“她说，”你对你的小乔治真有耐心。”
“夫人，”男人说，“我是乔治，他是爱德华。”
What soldiers?
Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.
Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?
妻子：亲爱的！快看那些士兵，他们看经过的那位漂亮女郎都看得发呆了。
丈夫：士兵？什么士兵？
But the teacher cried 可是老师哭了
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗？哭了没有？”
“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
Goethe's Tolerance 歌德的容忍
Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, I'll never make way for a fool. But I will, with that Goethe retreated aside.
一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步，碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：我从来不给傻瓜让路。 可我给，说完歌德退到了一边。
Stolen Car 被偷车之后
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.
There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, 'I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star.'
Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, 'Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?'
一对夫妇花了差不多整天时间逛商场，回来后却发现他们的车被偷了，于是他们马上去警察署打报告。过后，一个侦查员跟他们一起回到事发地点，看看犯罪现场有没有留下一些蛛丝马迹。但是，令他们大为吃惊的是，他们的车已经回来了！
在车的挡风玻璃上有一个信封，信封里装着一个道歉信和两张音乐会的门票。在道歉信上有这样的文字：“对于擅自把您的车开走这件事情我非常抱歉，但是我的老婆正好临盆，需要马上去医院，于是才擅自开走了您的车。请您原谅因此给您带来的不便。送上两张西部乡村音乐歌手盖茨布鲁克斯今晚的音乐会门票。”
这对夫妇怀着博爱的心情去听了音乐会，并且很晚才回到家里。但是还没有等高兴劲儿冷却下来，却发现他们家被人抢劫了。整个屋子里贵重的东西都被拿走，从地下室到阁楼一个角落都没被放过。而且，在门上还有一个便条，上面写到：“好了，你还是拥有的车。但是我必须把我新生的孩子养大，去读大学，是吧？”
A Girl's Wish 小女孩的愿望
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
